Thursday, March 31, 2011

I said I wouldn't, but I did.

How do you handle depression over and over in your life?
How do you handle change?
How do you change every fiber of your being?
How do you feel so alone, even when you have so many people saying they're there for you?
How do you not cry, when all you can do is cry inside?
How do you even wake up in the morning these days?

Why can't this be less painful?
Why couldn't I have avoided this whole situation?
Why do I have to be so far gone?
Why do I have to be the scum beneath His boots?
Why can't I just let go?
Why can't I just decide to quit or keep going?

When will I stop being such an idiot?
When will I just pick what I need to do for myself?
When will I stop building so many walls?
When will I stop feeling so much pain?

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