My posts recently have been absolutely depressing. I mean my last one was about suicide. It's stuff that needed to get out. I was closing one door of my life to open up another one. I'm in a remarkably good mood right now, and I've kind of had the perfect day today. For the entire week I've been REALLY looking forward to Sunday because I wanted to go to Church really badly for some reason. Not necessarily for the sermon or anything, but so that I can just be in Gods presence and really feel it.
So today I did just that. I dressed up classy, went to Church, Didn't agree with about 40% of what was said, but took God out of all of it. I got God. I got my dose of never ending Love today, and that'll keep me pushing for a while. It was just what I needed. I got to be surrounded by loving people, who I disagree with on so many topics but still get along with so well. They're like family at this point and I love them all. Even their family is like my family now haha. It was just amazing.
Got home and had nothing to do so tried finding SOMETHING to do, and finally a friend texted me and we went to Amelies. Spent the entire day with him and another great friend just talking, sippin' on a latte, smokin', and embracing the great weather and life. I saw a community trying to build themselves up to be something better than what they appeared to be through flea markets. I saw the love they had in all of that and how it didn't matter who came up, everyone was just a person and they were treated with the same amount of love. I heard a story about a random act of kindness where someone paid for someone elses meal who was less fortunate ( not financially) and who just wanted the guy to know that God loved him. People were showing love today, and I was just consumed by that love and thrown into it as well. I saw a glimpse of what a perfect world could look like. I want that world. I refuse to strive for anything less.
I'm grabbing life by the balls. I'm getting into school in the fall dammit. I'm going to be a journalist. I'm going to study under someone. Talk to actual journalists. I'm going to network. I'm going to find connections. I'm going to work hard to improve the community I live in. I'm going to fight hard to make sure every person knows that they are loved and that people are out there that care about every single one of them. Every homeless person. Every family member stuck in domestic violence. Every depressed teen. Every person deserves to feel loved, and I refuse to give anything less than that. I refuse to let hate consume me, regardless of how horrible some humans can be and how pissed off they can make me. I will learn to love them just as much as everyone else.
I cannot explain to you guys how excited I am for this sudden burst of enthusiasm. I refuse to let it just disappear with sleep or through work. It'll only improve through those things. My faith and relationship with God will grow from this. My friendships will grow from this. My career will grow from this. My education will grow from this. I'm growing, and I can't wait until I blossom into a gorgeous flower in this spectacular garden of people.